“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others”
― Martha Graham
During my divorce a few years ago I heard something on a podcast about dancing. Of course I then had to corroborate with a source that was more reputable before buying in to the claim. I picked a journal excerpt from Harvard Medical which backed up what they said.
Essentially:
There are multiple studies that prove dancing helps the human brain significantly and quickly in a myriad of ways.
I knew my brain needed all the help it could get, so I dedicated part of my day to test the theory out for myself.
I chose to make the goal to dance 30 seconds a day minimum. That’s all the podcast claimed a person needed to significantly increase their serotonin.
The first day I tried it, I was surprised when I realized I hadn’t really “danced” in a long time. I had swayed with people, and moved in rhythmic motions in social dance circles, but I wasn’t “dancing.” Not effectively at least. Ironically, I hadn’t improved my mind by dancing in a long time because my mind was so involved in the process. Instead of feeling the music and letting my body move in tandem, I was preoccupied with the social aspect of what I was doing, how my body looked, how I could best blend in and mimic what the group was doing… I wasn’t actually “dancing.”
I decided to see what “my” body wanted to do when certain music came on. It changed everything.
Alone in my living room, I played my playlist: “Songs that Changed Me” and focused only on how each track made me want to move.
That’s when I rediscovered “dancing” as an art form rather than the disconnected body mechanics I was doing years prior.
I only felt the boosts listed in that Harvard Medical article ironically when I used the least amount of brainpower and the maximum amount of feeling.
This seems to be a truism for all art. I can mechanically type words on a keyboard and call it writing… but it’s not the same as when I reach into my truest self (unconcerned for how it will be received) and let the words come out as authentically as I feel them with each stroke of the keyboard.
I think those who read can sense when writing is artful, authentic, genuine, raw, and when it is just words put together.
Just like I learned how to really “dance” again, I have committed to only ever REALLY write on this blog.
To reach into what I’m truly connecting with emotionally at the time and use words to convey it.
I have to come to grips with the fact that I don’t know what it will look like when I write, but I can find comfort knowing that it will be genuine.
Last night I was SO tired after the longest Thursday I’ve had in a LONG time. I chose people, a wedding, doctors appointments, friends coming over and errands that I didn’t sit at my laptop until almost midnight. I opened the program and felt NOTHING but the ache to sleep. My brain had run out of words. “But shoot! I promised this new Tuesday/Thursday” schedule! I have to reach my goals.
I read quotes for some inspiration…(nothing)
I listened to music to get into my feeling self. (I only felt calmed and more drawn to close my eyes.)
Stubborn to keep my goal, I went into my drafts and posted a poem I’ve been trying to perfect and then fell asleep.
This morning (Friday) I woke up feeling so wrong about that “throw away” post I did the night before. It was authentic when I wrote it, but it’s time had passed. I had no new feelings towards it. I had already shared it with the audience it was intended for months ago.
So I switched the settings to private, and decided to just write today instead. It bothers me to publish on a Friday the first week I’m starting a new goal of (T and Th) posting, but I realized it bothered me infinitely more to publish something I had written a year prior and wasn’t currently experiencing.
I’m going to keep this blog current. Authentic. Real. Unpolished. How else am I supposed to enjoy this artform if I don’t embody what I learned from the art of dancing vs. the mechanics of dancing.
Thanks for reading sweet things.
I hope wherever you are today, you take 30 seconds to dance the way your body WANTS to. Abandon your versions of how you are “supposed” to and get to know the “real” you better.
You deserve that kind of embodied connection with yourself today. Plus, it’s been proven to connect brain synapses and boost serotonin so… what are you waiting for? 😉
Thinking of you. Thankful you stopped by.
Take that love in today and let it out any way you can.
-Aubrey
“A Cleverly Named Blog” with Aubrey 