“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”
― Edward Everett Hale
Once a therapist (I’ve had many) said: “Having _______ is like starting your day with only 10 cups of YOU to give.” Some people have more cups than others, and it’s probably best you accept that now than fight more with yourself later.”
Strong claim right? I find myself agreeing and disagreeing with her. (Common paradox) I’ll tell you why.
First, the argument.
Today I had an “unusual” amount of ME to give.
Amongst other things, I washed, dried, folded AND put away laundry, talked on the phone, socialized in real life, did my hair and make up, went grocery shopping with a three year old (bad idea), made roast, paid bills, managed subscriptions, spoke with my lawyer, went outside on a walk, cleaned the upstairs, tended to kids, read some of a book, moved furniture around, got medications, changed bedding, rinsed dishes, organized the “pile” in my bedroom, picked up a delivery, took trash out, stood in the rain, and got a sitter for Thursday…
This is “not” my everyday “things I did” list. But it was todays. Which is where I find issue with a set amount of “cups” I wake up with.
I feel like everyday a slightly different amount of “me” is there. Sometimes it’s physical, sometimes emotional, sometimes I’m mentally fatigued, sometimes my heart is sore, hurt or heavy, sometimes it’s all of them.
I wish I had been counting my cups for the last decade to get an overall average. Sometimes I wish I could take those numbers and plot them on a graph to see the “stock market of me.” I have guesses on certain months of certain years where I ranged in between, but no real empirical data. (I bet you do too.)
Let’s also factor in the things in a day that cause cups to be filled and cups to be spent! I have days where the laughter shared with my favorite people gives me deposits that surpass my starting amount. I also have days where I feel spent by 10 am.
The math is simply not stagnant. And neither are we. And in my opinion, neither is anything for long.
I think a lot about the concept of change.
Change is what literally every atom in existence continues to go through.
Newton’s second law of thermodynamics explains the concept of “entropy” which essentially means: the consistent erosion, weathering and decay of everything.
To deal with entropy, biology adapts, evolves and constantly fights to find ingenious ways to combat it and neutralize the corrosive effects.
This battle between “growth and withering” creates SO many variables that must be accounted for in the daily scales of anything and anyone.
So how on earth (literally) could I (because of one _______ condition) have a set amount of “self” I approach the day with?
Now,
The part I agree with, and benefit from is the principle of “knowing your numbers.”
I have used the method of percentages and scales, and I have not. I do MUCH better in relationships, communicating, introspection and self awareness when I remember where I am currently at on different scales. In fact, I let this practice slip for a few months recently and found communication and connection was harder for me. I’ve just recommitted to pay attention to my scales and voice them in relationships.
Also, I like knowing what things in life “give” and what “take” so I can make better informed decisions throughout the day.
My favorite people are able to gauge where they are in multiple scales and know what they need to do to stay in the green as much as they can control.
I strive to be an expert at knowing how many “cups” I have, what I need to do to fill them when low, and how to communicate when I need help filling them as well. It feels like a worthwhile practice.
And that is the thought for today! Thank you for reading. 🙂
I hope you are kind to yourself and others if they had a “less than normal day.” I hope you celebrate if you had “above normal” energy, motivation, hope, enthusiasm, happiness, or success. I hope you know it’s ok to oscillate between the different levels of you.
You are allowed to change, evolve and adapt. Your cells do it with or without permission, you can too.
With the amount I have left, I’m sending love out to you.
Take it in, hold it tight, and we’ll carry on.
-Aubrey
“A Cleverly Named Blog” with Aubrey 