On Ice

“I was quiet, but I was not blind.”
― Jane Austen

Compress: “flatten by pressure, squeeze, or press.”

Decompress is: “relive or reduce the pressure on something.”

What do you do to decompress?

I write.

The problem with publishing what I write is this.

You read it.

I’ve been private for the majority of my life “MOSTLY” because private is one of the most attractive qualities a woman can be.

And if you were raised like I was: attractive is the most important attribute a woman can have.
*Meekness, humility and various servant skills are important too… *

What a bunch of hypocritical manipulation.

Now I am careful to not just “SWING” to the opposite direction of choice making and exploit because it “feels” so good to speak up. It feels like relieving pressure on a very built up valve.

But that pressure would come out as steam. Because the pressure is hot. And it could burn.

My thought process can be likened to overcorrecting a steering wheel while sliding in a car on ice. If you overcorrect, the car will spin out of control (sometimes even worse)…just in another direction…

But (real talk?)

Some days I just….
Want. To. Scream.

I’ve had some scream worthy stories lately.
A LOT of “compressions” and not an equal amount of “decompression.”

These stories would be REALLY juicy to read about.

-Partially because I am in the heat of the feelings about them.
-Partially because they are not far out of sight in my life’s rear view mirror.
-Partially because they involve absurd human choices and theatrically dramatic consequences.
-Partially because I have some OPINIONATED hot takes on them that would resonate with justice lovers everywhere.

These “parts” are ingredients I’ve learned create mud in the messaging. OR burns from the hot steam pressure release valve.

It’s totally fine that I’m feeling these strong feels. but “timing” will help the cycles of feelings work through themselves. The hope then is that *when I’m done feeling all the strong feelings about these stories*
I’ll have come out the other side, still willing to share, but less from a place of anger, vengeance, indignation, and passion… and more from a place of wisdom, resolve, acceptance and love.

Would you want to read “Angry Aubrey?”

What would that do to you?

What purpose would that serve me?

Writing is still my favorite catharsis-

Publishing has been slightly frustrating lately though.

Slightly frustrating (I weigh out) is smarter, healthier and kinder than regretful sharing.

That’s todays judgment anyway.

If I’m going to promote it…

I want to actually follow it,

So today sweet thing,

Love in.

Love out.

Actually.

-Aubrey