4 out of 10

“If you cant explain it simply, you do not understand it well enough.” -Albert Einstein

If I could give today a rating, I would give it a 4 out of 10. There are MANY factors that would contribute to that number. I’m not going to describe them all. That sounds so tiring to even try to do. But that was todays baseline.

I have had MANY times in life when my weekly regular number range was like between 7-9 out of 10, and also times when I was (to be honest) 0-2 out of 10. Those were really sad, hard times.

I’m quite familiar with all the numbers and their meaning on my personal emotional place scale. I like the scale system. It helps give me some sort of quantifiable data point to something as intangible as emotional status. It grounds me in a way. Gives me hope that 10 is out there and most times and I can make moves to get there, it also gives perspective when most days of my life- I’m not a 0 so there is something to be grateful for!

I do a wide assortment of different scales in communicating. It’s become somewhat of another language for me. A secret weapon I am “happy to expose” today in this post for you dear reader. Take it. Make it your own. Here are a few examples of how I would use “scaling” to communicate better.

“Pretend you have 10 votes. These are the 3 movie options. Where do you place your votes? *boom* numbers!

Or how about: “I’m feeling sick today, my optimal functioning ability is like 50% max. Please don’t expect more of me.”

Another one? Sure!: “Man. After going to that party I feel like my energy got knocked down from a 9 to like a 4. I need to recharge!”

*When you’re getting to know someone your questions can become clearer with numbers.*

For example,

A) Q: “When you feel your at a low point, 2 out of 10, 10 being happiest you can possibly feel, 0 being absolutely miserable… what do you do to cope?

B) Q: “What raises you up a point or two without fail on your emotional scale? 1 being (blah blah blah) 10 being (blah blah blah)”

C) Q: “What number range do you oscillate between on average in a week? 0 being (define) 10 being (define)”

D) Q: “What activity or type of interaction will automatically knock you down percentages of your energy? Lets say from an 80% down to a 50%?”

I stumbled upon this way of talking through a few random articles, noticing how lots of businesses use numbers…but ultimately it morphed into what it is today because of SO many failures in my own life of communicating with people SO different from me. I kept having all of these silly, and then incredibly irritating miscommunications and was competitive on how to make that lessen. This truly helped.

Words we “think” are quantifying and emphasizing, often times are actually REALLY arbitrary and counterproductive by making the message more emotionally loaded and less factually accurate.

For example: “I’m SO tired!”

Or “I’m REALLY hungry!”

Or what about: “I’ll be there SOON.”

How many times has “SOON meant 1 hour for someone and 5 min for the other?

How hungry is “REALLY” if 20 min later you only eat half of the meal I rushed to get you…

How tired is “SO” tired? You seem to still want to stay awake and play games…. You just don’t want to talk anymore or do chores? What is going on here!

We all know those words capitalized are trying to add clarity, but what it does more often than NOT I’ve found, is create A LOT of opportunity for misunderstandings and frustrations. Which is a hard place to accurately communicate from.

The “scaling it” system is not religion… but its pretty tried and true and tested on my end! Like anything in the “tips” and “tricks” category- please do not be obnoxious with it. Otherwise it will come across as narrow and gimmicky. No one likes that.

But when you feel the message matters, or you want to be clear, or you feel like what you’re articulating is something hard to understand??? Throw a number scale in there. Identify what 100% would be and what 0% would be and then place your number percentage as a stake post in the ground, tethering the message from flying away in the storm of feelings conversations can bring.

Remember. I love words. Adding numbers does not mean you subtract words. You can always use lots and lots of words to describe things like “your 63% interest in ice skating…” but at least you both can know *without having to explain* that 63% is a little more than half, but its not really anything to get excited over… right off the bat!

Make sense?

I sure hope this helps. It’s helped me LOADS! I’d recommend it 10 out of 10 times if ever brought up in conversation. 😉

As always sweet thing,

From a now “shaky 6” out of 10 over here- to you, no matter where you are at on the scale…

Love in. Love out.

-Aubrey

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