“People are scared to go to therapy because they think that it’s someone in a chair going: YOU SUCK. But its not. Its YOU in a chair going: I SUCK.” -Taylor Tomlinson
“I had problems a therapist couldn’t solve; grief that no man in a room could ameliorate.”
― Cheryl Strayed, Wild
I’ve had ALL sorts of therapy in my life. I have had all sorts of methods. I have learned something from each one. I have favorites. I have “never agains” and I have some: “was that witchcraft?” stories of therapy methods as well.
Today I had my exit session with my favorite therapist of all time! (I’ve been doing therapy since I was 15… so this is a high compliment to her) I have done this type of “pause” and “come back when you need me” conversations enough times that I came ready with the answers.
What I have learned. Where I would scale myself beginning therapy, where I am at now. What I will be taking from this experience and implementing in my life. How I will remain accountable to my true self, and my goals without reporting to her. Etc.
From April 11th, 2021-February 23rd, 2022. This is what I got out of therapy. *in a nutshell*
- Actively challenging thoughts. Taking the thoughts that invade your mind to court and challenging the validity and truth of them. Break the words down. Define them. Keep tinkering with the statement until it is most true. Then take action off of truth.
- Accountability. While gathering my new inner circle of trusted people, I had someone to be accountable and seen by. Everyone needs this. To be seen. To be accountable to their own goals and encouraged to reach them.
- Consistent reminders of what I can and cannot control. *hyper control got me out of a lot of childhood “ish” and is an easy go to button of mine* it’s an outdated tool. I am happier and more connected to myself when I’m not trying to control everything.
- Lean in. Feel those feelings. Let it out. Safely. Bathtub Cries are awesome. Cathartic productivity is a beneficial outlet of energy. Writing furiously (sometimes illegibly) on a notepad all the swirling, loud, chaotic thoughts and feelings is NECESSARY for me. Followed up by throwing that paper away or my personal favorite…burning it.
- Boundaries only work when you don’t break them. Imagine that. 😉
- Basics are priority. After basics have been done, everything else is just choices that bring about whatever life you want.
- “RIDE THE WAVE AUBREY” something I was told only every session. lol
These are just “exclusive to therapy only” bullet points. I learned so. much. more. this year in pursuit of healing. I can contribute some of it to the thoughts that would come to mind while talking with my therapist, or while writing in my digital shared journal.
I am not letting talking with trusted inner circle people go. I am not letting these lessons go. They have become habit, a new standard for me. I am not letting journaling go. In fact, in a big way- I’m choosing to share my insides on this platform in many ways.
Thank you for “seeing” me. For taking the time to read some of the things that swirl in my mind and heart.
I love you for this.
Until next time,
Love in. Love out…and ride that wave sweet thing,