“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou
I started this little personal project for the summer of 2022. *I’m loving it so far*
I seem to keep adding projects into my life as soon as the new ones become old.
For example. I now almost cannot sleep without doing my perfect moment updates. (No literally… there has been a handful of times that I have started to doze off into oblivion and something instinctual wakes me like an alarm!) “YOUR PERFECT MOMENT UPDATE!”
*I’m not banking on it being my alarm clock but it sure is nice to prove to myself that I can make goals and promises and keep them.*
I wanted to remind myself of that this year. That when I say I’m going to do something. I do it.
It is a way I can prove wrong some of the painful and false narratives that have been said about me, or to me over the last ten plus years. I am living in a way to disprove those narratives and show myself with data who I “truly” am.
This leads me into my thought for today.
Other words like narrative are: account, tale, chronicle, history, description, record and story.
I’m going to go with “story” for the time being. Mostly because I read an academic study recently that was titled this: “Stories creating selves, creating stories.”
It is cyclical sounding, and infinite in possibilities! THINK: “infinity loop”
The study taken back in 2007 was updated to prove a basic human concept.
We are the animal that (more than any other) makes up stories and listens to stories. You’re literally doing it RIGHT NOW while reading this. Ingesting my language. Interpreting it the way that naturally fits all the paradigms you’ve been programming or have been being programmed into you since the beginning of your life.
The main idea is that it is the stories we are told, exposed to, injest, take on, believe, hate, love that become “US” as an identity and self.
That self then goes on to perpetuate, alter slightly, adapt, and promote more stories.
Which will then continue having impact to the self and other selves.
It is SO meta, micro AND applicable to every second of everyday! 🤓 WOW WOW WOW!
I’ll show you one way this concept REALLY matters. 👇
A HUGE aspect of therapy is simply having a guide help you walk through your stories, beliefs and narratives. *I’ll prove it*
CBT (the most common therapy method) literally means: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Which is when the “expert” is “therapizing” (technical term) the behaviors of your cognition WITH you!
As if they are a tour guide to your own heart and mind.
They are helping you create new stories, they allow a safe place for you to admit the stories you do not feel safe with (for a million reasons) then they show you that you can still survive and be “normal” after saying them aloud.
THAT ACT ALONE IS BIG for our psyche.
(The good ones) then usually ask a lot of questions to allow YOU to exploit falsehoods in front of a witness. Finally, they help you replace the now “old and exposed” story with something more updated and true.
That’s basically it. No really. Over and over again. It’s powerful! And it freaking WORKS.
SO what does that tell me?
That the stories we have attached to… MATTER. *full stop*
AND. We can change them.
What stories have you been told?
What stories do you believe?
What beliefs serve you?
Which ones do not?
Where can you put them (outside of you) and challenge them?
Put them on trial and see if they are true?
What would your life feel like if your stories were viewed differently?
Where do you start?
My answer to the last Q is ANYWHERE you want!
If you want a pretty great impact, I’d recommend starting with something that causes pain in your heart or worry to your mind. Write out the story one sentence at a time. Then start defining each word, and challenging the HELL out of each statement with these questions. “Is it true?” “How can I know that it is true?” “What would my life look like if it wasn’t true” “What needs to happen to change this statement?” *you know Byron Katie style*
You then become the driver in the study of “SELVES-creating stories-creating selves.”
I believe in you.
Your story and stories matter.